Five Things I’ve Discovered About Myself Through Counselling

private counselling update

Hi gang – hows it going? I thought a little update on my counselling sessions might be worth sharing, in particular some of the things I have learnt about myself that I probably already knew but also kinda didn’t? Because that’s how counselling seems to work. You have these thoughts, feelings and ideas about yourself that stay buried down until you sit in front of an impartial professional who knows just how to make you dig deep enough to uncover them. It’s both great and horrible, tbh.

It’s surprisingly easy to open up to a stranger

The first thing I realised when starting counselling was how easy it was to just blurt out what’s going on in your head to a stranger who is simply there to listen, offer encouragement and not make it about them.

I really lucked out in that I instantly gelled with the first counsellor I contacted. She never interrupts, asks the right questions and is understanding and positive without being patronising.

I need to learn to be assertive

I’ve never really considered myself shy but I have discovered through my sessions that I will often sit and keep in any feelings that might upset or offend someone else – even at the detriment of my own feelings.

This translates pretty easily to a lack of assertion. I associate being assertive with being confrontational, but actually it’s all in how you express your feelings. My counsellor is able to help provide coping mechanisms for someone who is usually too caught up trying to keep the peace with others to think about keeping the peace within. Wow that sounds cheesy.

I’m obsessed with doing well

Before I started talking to my counsellor about my job and career aspirations, I probably didn’t fully appreciate just how career-obsessed I am.

I have always known that I take great pride in the work I do, but recently I’ve come to terms with the fact that this really needs to start translating into where I want to go and what I want to do in the future both inside and outside of the “day job”. But never at the cost of my happiness.

I have a fear of failure

OK, so this ties into the point up there ^ but the struggles I have with decision making are very clearly linked with the worry of failing. Making the wrong decision or a rushed decision fills me with dread.

I need to remember that one decision, no matter how big or small, will not necessarily be the wrong one or cause catastrophic consequences.

I’m optimistic about the future

Even if I have no ruddy clue what it looks like (what with not really wanting the “traditional” things that people want like a house, marriage, kids…blergh), I’m still pretty darn optimistic about the future and I think that’s the best thing I have determined from this whole experience.

If you want to find out more about my private counselling experience, check out this post

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6 Comments

  1. July 4, 2017 / 4:38 pm

    It sounds like you are finding your sessions worthwhile which is great! I have just started private counselling today and i think it should help me a lot 🙂

    • Cat
      July 4, 2017 / 9:56 pm

      They definitely feel worthwhile which is good – glad to hear you are finding it useful too!

  2. July 4, 2017 / 8:21 pm

    Ah it is super surprising to open up to strangers I noticed when I went haha! I think I’m very similar. Very career obsessed and can be very hard on myself.

    • Cat
      July 4, 2017 / 9:57 pm

      I didn’t think it would be as easy as it was to just talk at a stranger, be listened to and supported. Sounds silly, but it’s true! Sounds like we might just be the same person.

  3. July 19, 2017 / 4:29 pm

    It sounds like you are going on a real journey through counselling! You give me hope, as I’m starting up counselling next week and am both nervous and cautiously optimistic.

    • Cat
      July 19, 2017 / 10:35 pm

      I’m so pleased to hear that – and best of luck! It won’t always be smooth sailing, and sometimes I want to give up with it because it can get upsetting, but then I realise it is all for my own development and I definitely feel like I’ve been taking positive steps through opening up.

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