Hi gang – hows it going? I thought a little update on my counselling sessions might be worth sharing, in particular some of the things I have learnt about myself that I probably already knew but also kinda didn’t? Because that’s how counselling seems to work. You have these thoughts, feelings and ideas about yourself that stay buried down until you sit in front of an impartial professional who knows just how to make you dig deep enough to uncover them. It’s both great and horrible, tbh.
It’s surprisingly easy to open up to a stranger
The first thing I realised when starting counselling was how easy it was to just blurt out what’s going on in your head to a stranger who is simply there to listen, offer encouragement and not make it about them.
I really lucked out in that I instantly gelled with the first counsellor I contacted. She never interrupts, asks the right questions and is understanding and positive without being patronising.
I need to learn to be assertive
I’ve never really considered myself shy but I have discovered through my sessions that I will often sit and keep in any feelings that might upset or offend someone else – even at the detriment of my own feelings.
This translates pretty easily to a lack of assertion. I associate being assertive with being confrontational, but actually it’s all in how you express your feelings. My counsellor is able to help provide coping mechanisms for someone who is usually too caught up trying to keep the peace with others to think about keeping the peace within. Wow that sounds cheesy.
I’m obsessed with doing well
Before I started talking to my counsellor about my job and career aspirations, I probably didn’t fully appreciate just how career-obsessed I am.
I have always known that I take great pride in the work I do, but recently I’ve come to terms with the fact that this really needs to start translating into where I want to go and what I want to do in the future both inside and outside of the “day job”. But never at the cost of my happiness.
I have a fear of failure
OK, so this ties into the point up there ^ but the struggles I have with decision making are very clearly linked with the worry of failing. Making the wrong decision or a rushed decision fills me with dread.
I need to remember that one decision, no matter how big or small, will not necessarily be the wrong one or cause catastrophic consequences.
I’m optimistic about the future
Even if I have no ruddy clue what it looks like (what with not really wanting the “traditional” things that people want like a house, marriage, kids…blergh), I’m still pretty darn optimistic about the future and I think that’s the best thing I have determined from this whole experience.
If you want to find out more about my private counselling experience, check out this post.