OH HI GANG!
If you’ve been reading my blog lately, you’ll know I started private counselling. I’ve had two sessions so far. The first made me feel liberated and eager to tackle problems and grow. The second, I cried like a baby all the way home. But that’s OK, because I know it’s going to be a rollercoaster of emotions. When you open up, you discover things about yourself that you deliberately haven’t confronted and well… that’s tough.
I’m beginning to see the fundamental barriers that surround my mental health issues – the lack of self-confidence, the difficulties I find in making decisions and realising that mistakes are mistakes and not the end of the world. These barriers are neatly tied together with an anxiety-inducing bow.
But realising these things, and hearing from an impartial party (my therapist) has made me realise that there are life changes I want to make while on the journey to building up that self-confidence and tackling the fear I have over decisions = mistakes.
Here they are, folks.
Look after my body
My gym routine has been a bit crap lately, tbh. I still go once a week every week, but the plan was to go twice or even three times if I had no major weekend plans. I want to get back to doing that as when my body lets me push myself, the endorphins are A++.
Oh, and I need to stop treating my body like a bin, too. I don’t want to go all kale and avocados on y’all, but I do want to stop treating food like a comfort blanket.
That’s not to say I won’t cave occasionally and order a Domino’s followed by ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE. Obviously. I’m only human.
Keep up the counselling
Due to the cost, my counselling sessions are likely to now be every two weeks. The problem with this is that knowing me, I’ll find it harder to stick with it because it won’t be easily engrained into my routine with sessions being so far apart. As my last session left me feeling so crycrycry afterwards, I know it’s going to be a struggle to go next time.
But I will, because I know it’s going to help me so much.
Use my time productively
No more getting lost in scrolling, or falling into a Youtube hole. I have ambitions that aren’t going to just happen without hard work, so it’s time to start using my evenings and freer weekends to take positive steps towards them.
I need to start planning what I want and work towards it.
Be inspired by success
This is a hard one, but I have noticed recently that my goals seem unachievable because so many other people are achieving them. Instead of feeling like it won’t happen to me because it’s happened to them, I’m going to try and shift my mindset to think “well, if it’s happened to them then maybe it can happen for me”.