It feels like a little while since I sat down and typed up a catch up style post. It’s a bit of a weird one this time round as I’ve not really thought about what to type…so let’s just see how it goes shall we?
I haven’t been feeling myself lately, to be honest. It’s a difficult sensation to describe because of course I am still myself. I haven’t magically transformed into someone else. But I feel like a lesser version of myself. How bad is that?
I think the weather has something to do with it. I’m not an SAD sufferer, but something about the bitter cold has had me wanting to retreat. To hibernate. I get up early, I drive to work, I put my head down to get things done, I drive home and veg.
Even at the weekends I haven’t felt any more energised. I’ve felt run down, exhausted and occasionally a bit dazed. I’ve been sleeping more than usual, but still not feeling any more awake. I hope I snap out of it soon because it’s also making me crabby af.
Aside from being a grumpy gremlin, there’s not a lot else that’s been going on really. We’ve been binge-watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on Netflix which I do recommend if you like musicals (although I will more strongly recommend La La Land because I’ve seen it twice now and it’s amazing), and we’ve been attempting to finally finish off the unpacking and organising of the house – which we moved into at the beginning of November.
Neither of us particularly like the house which makes it difficult to feel relaxed and at home in. There’s nothing majorly wrong with it, and we should be grateful to even have a house, but we miss living where we were before and are trying to decide where to go and what to do next.
I’ve realised that quite quickly this post has become very moany. I apologise. But hey, you can’t have the light without the dark. We can’t always be chirpy in real life, so why should we on our blogs? I read a great blog post this week from Lauren that talks about being glad that she had bad days. No, she hasn’t lost her mind and actually makes a very good point.
Sometimes you need to feel sorry for yourself. You need to be moody, upset, discouraged. You can’t bottle it up because the grumpy gremlin will become a dangerous dragon. Or an angry aardvark. Or another alliterative creature. Nobody wants that. Especially not you.
So I think I need to not feel myself until I do again. I need to slowly introduce myself back to normality. To take care of myself a bit better, and to not push myself too hard to feel happy and well all the time if I’m not.
Does anyone else get like this sometimes? What is it that snaps you back out of it?